I decided!

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Man, It’s amazing what a conversation and a personal choice to just be happy and let things go can do!

I was doing my evening walks, which I’ve just recently started back up again, justa power walking away and listening to some rockin tunes, and I thought, this is a good time to just vent, get it all out.  So I told Big Guns upstairs everything I was feeling and decided eh, I’m done with it.  I’m giving it over now, and I’m not going to stay in this funk.  Heck No.  I am going to be happy because there is no reason not to be.  Yes, things have royally sucked recently, but it’s how we rise from the ashes that shows your character and growth.  So I decided, and I’ve been feeling a crap ton better ever since!  I realized, the things that had me feeling the worst were pretty silly, all material things.  I have the ability to replace them right now if I wanted. [Just no where to put them].  I may have lost a lot in the recent split, but nothing I can’t replace myself.  Now that was a weight lifting revelation!

Also, while on this walk, I was pleasantly surprised with the biggest, most amazing shooting star that I’ve ever seen.  I literally stopped mid stride, gasped and exclaimed “That is BEAUTIFUL!”  I’m still not entirely sure if it was just a star, or possibly a meteor.  It was the biggest shooting star I’ve ever seen and the tail was glowing red.  The possibility that it MIGHT be Clark Kent crossed my mind, and as long as he looks like his Tom Welling version, I wouldn’t complain.  I’d totally keep his secret too. :)

And another thing I did, to add to the whole happiness/keeping my spirits up theme, I bought myself flowers.  Well I bought a bougainvillea plant, the kind with the bright pink blossoms.  And I’ve heard that if you talk to your plants, it helps them grow?  So, HIS name is Peeta…haha.  Hmm, I wonder where I got THAT name from… And he is gorgeous, and is currently residing on my desk at work.  Which I’m a little leery about since we have a clepto at work…Let me just forewarn, that I am already attached to him and would maul someone’s face off if they think about taking him. :)

Anyway, I figured it’d give me something pretty to look at amidst all these gaudy computer parts.  Wouldn’t you agree??

Peeta my plant

Peeta- My pretty.

So as I was saying…OH! Dandelion!

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Let me first start out by saying, I am soooooo distracted.

I can’t focus, not on anything I’m supposed to be doing anyway.  WordPress, obviously yes.  Facebook, yup.  Pinterest, always.  Work? Not quite.

This week has been really crummy so far, not that anything bad has happened, but I’ve just felt crummy in general.  I’m trying to deal with all the after-effects of my recent divorce and to say I’m not dealing well is probably an understatement.  Actually, let me rephrase that.  It’s not the divorce I’m having a hard time dealing with.  [Although I'm far from being proud that I have that under my belt at 26]  It’s the fact that I lost everything I worked so hard for.  And even though my ex-hubby and I are still friends, it’s going to take a lot of time and healing before we can get back to a place where our friendship doesn’t invoke hurt.  15yrs of friendship between him & I.  That’s something I so badly don’t want to lose, even if it takes a while to repair.

I guess with that in general going on, it’s understandable to not be able to focus and be so distracted.  It also doesn’t help that for 8hrs a day I’m staring at dual monitors hid away on the 3rd floor, surrounded by computer parts and supplies with no windows.   Even just a view of the parking lot would be nice.  Eh, maybe not.

So as I try to get my work done, try as I might, my multitasking skills are still on point.   Seeing as I’m checking my emails, chatting on Facebook and typing this entry as we speak.  One thing I can promise you I will get done today, [besides this post] is reading a few hundred pages in my new book Catching Fire.  I certainly have caught fire in this new series by Suzanne Collins.  As I’ve said before, if you haven’t read it yet, make it a point to do so.  It’s a little slow at first, but way worth the wait.  My mind is so encapsulated in these books it’s ridiculous.  Although I’m so very thankful of the timing because it’s provided me with a complete escape from my woes and worries as of late.  When I start feeling down in the dumps, I just pull out my handy dandy book, and WHAMO, I’m no longer worried about what’s going on in my life, but whether or not Peeta is ok and if he’s going to make it through the Games alive.   I’m telling you, it’s currently my number one obsession.  I’ve even started making a playlist.  When you are driving down the road, listening to the radio, and you think to yourself, “This could so apply to the Hunger Games,” you know you’ve got it bad.

For those of you who are interested in hearing what my interpretation of the Hunger Games sounds like, this is currently what’s on the playlist:

  1. Undertaker “Renholder Mix”- Puscifer
  2. Safe & Sound- Taylor Swift & The Civil Wars
  3. Stand Tall- Dirty Heads
  4. The Sound of Winter- Bush
  5. Seven Devils- Florence + The Machine
  6. Taking Over Me- Evanescence
  7. Whisper- Evanescence
  8. feuer frei- Rammstein
  9. Undone- Aranda
  10. Take Care- Drake, Rihanna

This is what I have so far.  Check it out!

p.s. and for those of you still wondering what or who a “Peeta” is… here you go!

“]

Sweet Peeta Mellark [Actor Josh Hutcherson

Bumsville-Population:Me

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So here it is, Friday night and I feel confined to the house by myself. Which this wouldn’t be or feel like a problem if I were myhouse. Fortunately & unfortunately, I am currently residing with a family member until I can get back on my feet again. On the upside, this provides me with the ability to save a nice chunk of money if I put it aside.

The thing is, I’m all for personal time. I love to read, catch up on shows, sing into my hair brush while I dance around in my skivvies…BUT, I don’t like feeling like that’s my only option. Things have been rough this past year and my friendships have been revealed, and let’s just say there are slim Pickens. The ones that matter most are the farthest from me. Coming home to my uncles empty house on a Friday night because I have nothing better to do or anyone to do it with, is well, kinda depressing. I’m used to having someone by my side to do everything with, but I guess this is what happens when you get divorced, you lose everything.

I guess the only thing I can do at this moment, is go engulf myself in a good book. They are the best of friends somemost times. So off I go, I know my dear new friends Katniss & Peeta won’t let me down…

The Beginning…[again]

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So this is my billionth attempt at writing a blog, and hopefully this time it will be something I can will stick to. I am a habitual dreamer of the unfinished kind. I have all these goals and ideas and dreams, and I get so excited about them that I just jump in, but I very rarely ever finish before I’m onto the next one. I’ve got musings all over the place. I’m a Jill of all dabbles, if you will. ( Get it? It’s a play on Jack of all trades..? Yeah, anyway)

So let’s see if I can get this show on the road and see if I can’t entertain a few folks while I’m at it. I can’t promise you or prepare you in regards to what you will be reading in this blog, but I can assure you it will be some sort of entertaining, and comical if nothing else. After all, my life feels like a movie production, and what’s the point if you are the only one watching?

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